Why Worry?

I come from a long line of worriers.

Not warriors…worriers.

So I come by the “worrying thing” honestly.

If my mother, Marge, did not worry, she would have nothing to do. And she doesn’t just worry about actual events or things that are known to be true…she worries about imagined and possible things and events and quite frankly, I think the types of worries she concocts reveal some disturbing things about her psyche.

Like I think my mother could have a criminal mind. Not just any criminal mind, but a brilliant one…’cause you can’t come up with the things she worries about if you didn’t.

Marge: I never take my pocketbook to the movies
Me: Why?
Marge: Because it would be a perfect place for a robber to come in with a gun and say to everyone, ‘Hand over your wallets and pocketbooks.”
Me: Seriously? Has that ever happened?
Marge: I don’t know, but it could.

Ya’ see what I mean?

Me: Mom I have to stop at the next ATM for cash.
Marge: I never used an ATM in my life.
Me: Why? It’s convenient, the bank doesn’t need to be open, you don’t have to wait in line…..
Marge: How do you know someone isn’t watching through binoculars to see the code you punch in?
Me: But they wouldn’t have my account number.
Marge: Maybe they could see that too.

I can’t help it…I then get a visual of Marge perched in a tree sitting across the street from Citibank with a telescope.

And forget about if something bad actually happened and hits the news. Like this week a woman was attacked, at night, leaving Shop Rite. She was thrown in her car and sexually assaulted.

I had to swear to Marge I will stick to Waldbaum’s…and only during daylight.

Waldbaum’s is fine and everything…but the excessive worrying is not. I find, and as I said before, I come by it honestly, that due to worrying, I too may have a mind that can come up with things that are the makings of scary movies. For instance, I am out of town and Sydney has failed to answer any text or BBM’s the entire morning. Her BFF Devon is not responding to my pleas to get Sydney to answer me either. Did they actually make it on the school bus? Or were they abducted by a low flying UFO and sold into child slavery on a neighboring planet?

As if reality doesn’t give us enough cause for worry.

So, here’s one for Marge:

“In case you’re worried about what’s going to become of the younger generation, it’s going to grow up and start worrying about the younger generation.” Roger Allen