When was the last time post-coital flatulence ruined a romantic evening? Happens all the time, right? Well worry no longer: The Better Marriage Blanket is here to squash any diagreements stemming from burrito night, a bout with a viral infection or being on the receiving end of an eye-drop prank a la Wedding Crashers.

The Better Marriage Blanket uses the same technology the military relies on to thwart chemical spills and the aftermath of an Ex-lax chugging contest. It employs a layer of carbon fabric to absorb odors and keep dreams from turning into methane-fueled nightmares. Soon to be stocked at retirement homes and every Taco Bell inside a rest stop.