1. SIP 495 WINE
Chardonnay, merlot… Pick your exit. Palmer Vineyards in Aquebogue has come up with a line of beverages that screams Long Island—495 Wines. They all come with an Interstate 495 label that, depending on how your commute went, will make you either smile or swear as you savor the bouquet.
2. VISIT DAMNYOUAUTOCORRECT.COM
Smart phones are great, most of the time. But if you’ve ever sent a quick email or text message, only to have it butchered by autocorrect, then the hilarious, sometimes vulgar, miscommunications compiled here are a must-read.
3. GET A DESKTOP DUMPSTER
It’s January, a time for making New Year’s resolutions you probably won’t keep come February. If yours is to get organized, this mini dumpster from SteelPlant.net will do the trick, and look awesome holding your pens, scissors, mini liquor bottles, or whatever else you keep in your desk. Hey, we’re not judging.
4. SEE BLANCANIEVES
Director Pablo Berger’s fairy tale/drama remake of Snow White set in 1920s Seville tells the tale of Carmen, her evil stepmother and a band of roving, bullfighting dwarves. Need we say more? The movie hits theaters Jan. 18.
5. DOWNLOAD GOOGLE MAPS
If you have an iPhone, don’t risk your safety using Apple Maps any longer. To avoid ending up in a desert with no water or dangling off a cliff, download the new Google Maps app for iPhone. It’s free and it just might save your life, literally.
6. BUY AN “AUTHORS ARE MY ROCK STARS” WALL CALENDAR
From William Shakespeare to Mark Twain to Jack Kerouac to Maya Angelou, this wall calendar features insightful quotes and photos of authors with that rock-star edge. Get it at Amazon.com.
7. TOAST POE
An unknown visitor—or visitors—known as the mysterious “Poe Toaster” has celebrated Edgar Allan Poe’s birthday every year since 1949 in the early morning hours of Jan. 19 by leaving a bottle of cognac and three roses at Poe’s grave in Baltimore. But the Poe Toaster has been MIA for the past few years… Hint, hint.
8. AUDITION FOR MTV’S TRUE LIFE
Casting calls are open for Furries (people who dress up in animal fur suits); Drunkorexics (those who skip meals to save calories for alcohol); Re-sex-changers (those who have undergone gender reassignment surgery, then changed their minds)—and many others. Visit MTV.com for details.
9. TIVO STORAGE WARS NEW YORK
A&E’s spin-off comes to our stomping grounds in 2013, and follows a group of modern-day treasure hunters on their journeys every Tuesday at 10 p.m. beginning Jan. 1.
10. GET A STARGAZING PERMIT
A $30 stargazing permit from New York State Parks allows you entry after sunset to six LI parks—Hither Hills, Jones Beach, Montauk Point, Robert Moses, Wildwood and Sunken Meadow—to observe the skies above. Card-carrying stargazers are limited to the parking lots, so running into the ocean naked at 3 a.m. will still get you kicked out and/or arrested.