It’s pretty much bikini season ladies and gentlemen-who-wear-bikinis. You know what that means!

You’re probably fatter than you want to be!

You’re almost out of time. Just today, the temperature across Long Island is expected to reach Satanic.

What will you do?

Don’t waste time with insane exercise programs that do nothing more than get you pumped up in extremely motivational ways.

Don’t waste your time with fitness workouts that could make you look extremely athletic and well coordinated.

Long Island Press patrons

Men especially, why waste precious time looking manly, in an attempt to get fit so that you can look manly?

Now, for the incredibly low, low price of “What the hell!?” you too can prance your way to extreme(ly ridiculous-looking) fitness.

Just in time for beach season!

Or embarrassment season!

Check it out, as fitness guru Joanna SomethingOrOther shows you how to WORK IT like Beyonce! (if Beyonce was an old, odd, weirdly coordinated prancing white lady.)

(Special thanks To Eve for bringing this to my attention. Can’t wait to try this with you. I hear that the couple that prances together, gets-laughed-at-by-the-neighbors together!)

Now, let’s stop talkin’ and do some walkin’!


Hofstra University Transfer