We all know about the usual holidays, whether we celebrate them or not: Christmas, Memorial Day, Passover, Presidents Day, etc. But who says we’re limited to celebrating just “official” holidays?
Oh, yeah, the federal government.
But, while the banks and post offices may be open, and you won’t get the day off from work for them, there are a string of wonderful holidays that should not be ignored including a very special day that just happens to be today: not poetry day, no. See, that would be semi normal.
Today, August 18, 2011 is National, hell, WORLDWIDE, Bad Poetry Day!
That’s right, kids. Put your Shakespeare aside. Tuck away your Sylvia Plath, your Walt Whitman and your John Donne.
Who needs fine prose, when you can celebrate the worst poetry you’ve ever heard?
So, in honor of this day we present this poem, by Theophile Marzials, widely considered to be one of the worst ever written.
The 19th century bard’s poem addressed the tragedy known as The Tay Bridge Disaster–when the Tay Bridge blew down.
Read it below.
A Tragedy by Theophile Marzials
Death!
Plop.
The barges down in the river flop.
Flop, plop,
Above, beneath.
From the slimy branches the grey drips drop…
To the oozy waters, that lounge and flop…
And my head shrieks – “Stop”
And my heart shrieks – “Die.”…
Ugh! yet I knew – I knew
If a woman is false can a friend by true?
It was only a lie from beginning to end–
My Devil – My “friend.”…
So what do I care,
And my head is empty as air –
I can do,
I can dare
(Plop, plop
The barges flop
Drip, drop.)
I can dare, I can dare!
And let myself all run away with my head
And stop.
Drop
Dead.
Plop, flop,
Plop.
