Michael Conforti

Michael Conforti is the Director of New Media for the Long Island Press and many of its associated properties. He occasionally writes things. Things like his biographical information for the author excerpt thingy you are reading here. He writes in third person. Mike is awesome.

Mo’ Sochi, Mo’ Problems: Twitter’s @SochiProblems Relays Olympic-Sized Fail Tweets

Mo’ Sochi,

Sochi toilets - OlympicsWhile we prepare for a production of pageantry and perfectly proportioned people presenting powerful and precise performances, some people are having #SochiProblems.

While the world awaits the Sochi Winter Games, the Olympic event is receiving a bit of a bad reputation, even before it has officially begun, as those visiting, journalists in particular, are reporting from behind the scenes of the worldwide extravaganza.

Much of what they report, or at least much of what it catching people’s attention, isn’t great.

From plumbing problems to unfinished hotels to double-toilets (!), the stream of folks putting a comedic spin on the accommodations, or lack thereof, is quite steady.

One place, a Twitter account created especially for the occasion, helps keep track of others who are commenting, in one tidy, giggle-inducing place.

Welcome to @SochiProblems!

For the uninitiated, Twitter parody accounts are created to poke fun at certain figures or instances that capture the attention of others.

For instance, a Twitter account was “created by” the escaped Bronx Zoo snake, documenting its adventure in the urban wild:


And one of my favorites, that unfortunately has seen it’s endo, Mayor Bloomberg… en Espanol:


Now, we have @SochiProblems!! … Happily retweeting the tweets of troubled travelers. Tweets like these:






For more, fire up your favorite Twitter client and follow @SochiProblems

This Guy: 1 – Most Other Boyfriends: 0


Sorry dudes. I know you feel like I’m setting us up for failure here, but I’m actually doing us a favor.

On the surface, this video may embarrass us and our piddling gift-giving abilities. It may make our ladies look at us with disdain and say, “Hmph. Now THAT’S how you give a gift, moron!” It may remind us that we still haven’t gotten a gift for our wife whose birthday is THIS FRIDAY OMG DAMMIT….

But don’t look at it like any of that. Look at it as motivation. Inspiration!! An example of the type of creativity that you can apply to your relationship, that your significant other will treasure immensely and for eternity.

Unless she’s like, a golddigger, then this won’t really help you much…

Anyway, internet legend has it that this guy, in an attempt to one-up his own prior year’s gift (“Will you marry me?”) found an old relic from his Fiancee’s childhood, and embarked on a monstrously time-consuming search for an exact replica, to replace the parts of the original that had been lost through the years.

The result was incredibly touching as you will see and HEY, WHO THE HELL IS PEELING ONIONS IN HERE?!?!?

What If Kids Made Movies?

Kids Made Movies

What would happen if you took two little kids, and had them improvise the script to a movie, then somehow brought it to life?

You’d never know, if it weren’t for the clever work of these people. But now, you CAN know. And knowing is half the battle! GI JOOOOOOEEEE!

Anyway, these guys put together a ton of these scenarios-thought-up-by-kids-but-acted-out-by-not-kids. They’re cool and fun to watch. Check out a couple, and if you like them, go visit Bored Shorts TV on YouTube and spend hours there neglecting your infant and/or not doing any work at your job.

“We asked a girl to teach her sister how to do math.”

Josh Groban!

And their newest one, posted today…

Devil Baby Attacks New York City

Devil Baby

The last time we saw this kind of wonderfully evil trickery played out on unsuspecting citizens, it was a clever advertisement for a movie. But we didn’t care. It was deliciously wrong, and we loved it.

Enter devil baby. Same thing.

Enjoy. We did.

A Beautiful Video To Look At And Listen To So Look At It And Listen To It

Horse Video

“You haven’t done a ‘Buzz’ in a while,” he said.

“I know.” I answered. “Been busy doing the other things I do. It’s a busy time of the year here, what, with the Bethpage Best of L.I. results being tabulated and all, and me building a new website to list the winners.”

“Yeah, no, I know, but if you could do a new one, you should.”

“Ok. What do you want it to be about?”

“Well, you normally pick them…”

“Yeah, no, I know, but give me an idea… Funny, acrobatic, scientific… Like, what kind of story or video… Magic? Music? Dance? Driving? Near-death experiences? Porn?…”

“No, haha, not porn. Um. Maybe something cool.”

“Yeah, great, that narrows it down. Why don’t you just suggest ‘Something in English’ while you’re at it.”

“Haha ok, so, like, maybe a video…”

“Go on…”

“Like of something. Like, something normal, but filmed really pretty.”

“Like what?”

“Like… I dunno… Horses.”


“Yeah, horses. Just really nicely filmed, and like, the sound of horse activities, and birds, and just, serenity. Like, the day in the life of a horse. But pretty and sounding amazing and soothing.”

“Uh. Ok. That’s pretty specific. But I’ll see what I can find.”

“Ok, cool. That’d be — Oh, and a dog! Put a dog in there.”

“I’m not going to FILM a video you know, I’m just going to put UP a video.”

“No, haha, yeah, I know. I mean, a dog in there would be cool.”

“Ok. Weirdo.”

“Haha, yeah, no I’m serious.”

“So am I.”

“Haha, ok. Let me know.”

“I will.”

(The best part of this whole dialog? Made it all up. Needed to justify the randomness of the stupid horse video I’m posting about.)

Best watched with headphones on.

LIKE ♥ HORSES from Julien Guntz on Vimeo.

Long Island Blizzard? The Most Important Thing You Need To Remember

Long Island Blizzard

It was about a year or so ago when Long Island received advance warning of a monster snowstorm. With recent memories of wild weather in our region, including tornadoes in Brooklyn and Snowmaggedon, Long Islanders — a hearty stock yes, but one shaken by prior hurricane-seasons’ wicked women — took heed to the dire omen.

But what do we need to do this time? Between emails from our new electric company and robocalls from our schools, we’re on information overload! Hopefully, everyone’s bought a shovel. Maybe some rock salt. Hot cocoa for the kids, who will probably/possibly be stuck in the house with you tomorrow…

Winter Storm Hercules

Our house has a tradition that must be fulfilled… Entenmann’s Classic 8 Rich Frosted Donuts. A fine family tradition passed along to me from my wise father, Dr. Joseph M. Conforti, a professor of Sociology, and a fine storm-hunter-gatherer, especially to a young boy who he seldom allowed any kind of name brand treats. (I grew up on off-brand cereals for instance…. Tasteeoos, Crispy Rice, Lieutenant Munch…)

It is the perfect parallel to this, a favorite, timeless classic of The Buzz column, as Vic Dibitetto reminds us all what is way more important during these trying, troubled, turbulent times of extreme winter.

Bless your heart Vic.

And please shoot future viral videos in landscape mode.


(For more information about the upcoming snowstorm, check the Long Island Press homepage – Happy now Philip?)

The Only Version of Little Drummer Boy You’ll Need This Season

Little Drummer Boy

Hey Christmas song lovers. Between classic standards, and Mary J. Blige, you really have no shortage of great holiday music to have wafting through your home.

For those who prefer exquisitely-harmonious-and-perfectly-executed sounds of near-divinity, the a capella sensation that is Pentatonix has a little ditty that you should add to your Xmas Playlist. You might have seen it already (I’m admittedly many days behind on this) but for the 7.129 billion minus the 15-or-so million people on the planet who HAVEN’T seen it (minus the non-Christians who probably don’t care, the people without internet, infants, sick people, etc…), it’s kind of a must-listen.

(Even though it’s always been a bit of a dumb song. I mean, everyone knows oxen and lambs have no rhythm…)

Anyway, we’ve featured Pentatonix before, and it’s pretty stunning how good they are at this sort of thing. To be honest, they are perfectly suited for Christmas music, and their rendition of “Little Drummer Boy” is great evidence to prove it.

In fact, if Pentatonix’s Christmas stylings are your cup of peppermint tea, pick up their entire Christmas album here: http://bit.ly/PTXMASDELUXE

Bob Dylan. Music Video. Fantastic!

Bob Dylan

Bob Dylan has delivered one of the more creative music videos you have probably ever seen.

Song’s not half-bad either.

Click the image and go watch it. Kindly report back in the comments below.

Bob Dylan Video


Dear Most Parents: You Are Boring.


… well, at least compared to the creatively cool inventors of Dinovember!

Admittedly, I am a couple of days late, as this has been floating around for a couple of days (I mean, even Jaime Franchi has probably seen it by now…) but that’s OK because your nana probably doesn’t peruse Buzzfeed too much and when she sees this she will squeal in elderly delight.


Of course, my first choice was to share the video from Toronto mayor Rob Ford’s latest press conference…

But nana wouldn’t have approved.

So, parents, click these words, and go read about these amazing people and see what they’ve done to make me declare all you other parents, boring.

And parents, I’m sorry for making you feel inadequate. I’m sure your children love you just as much as theirs do.

Then again, probably not. Because dinosaurs!

What’s Old Looks New Again: Amazing Images From The Past, Updated

Old Looks New

There is an amazing phenomenon happening in the world of graphic design that many might not know about.

You might be of a certain age, to remember when the art of colorizing old cartoons and movies came into being. Classic, black and white features were given a new life with their colorized versions, a practice that was sometimes unnatural, leading to a backlash by many in the movie industry.

Albert Einstein on Long Island, 1939 (See: Einstein on the Beach
Albert Einstein on Long Island, 1939 (See also: Einstein on the Beach)

Nowadays, fans of classic movies are probably more content to view them in their original incarnations, while color movies have been around for long enough that the novelty of colorizing film is pretty much gone.

Not so for a newer trend, the colorization of old, black and white photographs.

Washington D.C. auto accident, 1921
Washington D.C. auto accident, 1921

Colorizing old photographs takes an extreme amount of skill, particularly to do it well, and judging by some of the better ones that have been circulating through the internet, great pride is taken in order to update these photos as accurately and realistically as possible.

Shading, lighting and a near-endless range of skin tones are among the many nuances that a crafty graphic artists needs to contend with to visually update a dated photo in this manner. While the end result is often as accurate as one might find from a modern-day Hollywood period film, knowing that the photograph was actually taken decades before the advent of color film is still striking.

Audrey Hepburn
Audrey Hepburn

The result is often a remarkable transformation, a chance to view a variety of photographs from days of yore, from iconic images to everyday snapshots, in an way that the subjects, photographers and viewers throughout the years never could.

In (almost) living color.

For a great assortment of these and other colorized photographs, visit http://imgur.com/a/YiOLx

See also: The Civil War in Color For The First Time

See also: A Vibrant Past: Colorizing the Archives of History