The Business of Love: Finding Romance in Seven Minutes
On a recent night, 10 men and 10 women walked into the community room of The Main Event in Plainview. After appetizers and drinks in the main part of the restaurant, they took their seats at tables for two and chatted, oblivious to the images on the television screens above.
“They’re busy talking to one another,” said Gail Adams, founder and owner of 7 in Heaven Singles Events, who organized this speed-dating event. “They’re not looking at the TV at all. They don’t have time.”
On Valentine’s Day, ways of meeting become a particularly timely topic, whether you are looking to date or simply interested in what’s being done today. Online matchmaking such as OKCupid, Match.com and others may have the tech, but Adams says that nothing beats meeting in person.
While online dating may mean big business, speed dating has left space for entrepreneurs to make some money and, they hope, make some people happy as well.
“Speed dating is better than online, because you’re going to get a feel for that person,” Adams added. “Somebody could be everything you want on paper. Anyone who’s done online dating knows what I’m talking about. You go shopping, pick them according to your wish list and meet them. And there isn’t any spark or interest. When you meet somebody in person, it’s everything.”
Adams believes that after a long pandemic lull, more people are seeking out this method of meeting. Her groups, divided by age, range from the 20s up to the 60s and 70s. She typically organizes seven or eight speed-dating events a month along with other singles events, all on Long Island.
“It’s become a lot more popular lately,” Adams said of speed dating. “People became tired of online dating. They’re going back to the basics and want to meet people in person.”
There’s the chance to meet someone who’s a good match that you would never have chosen online. With online dating, someone may look good on paper, but in person may not be a match.
“When you go to these events, you have to be open to meeting everybody,” she said. “But remember, you decide who you want to date.”
Speed dating, Adams said, started in 1998 when Rabbi Yaacov Devo held an event at Peet’s Coffee & Tea in Beverly Hills. It caught on and has grown into a big industry, although the point of the process remains the same.
“The goal of these events is to help busy, active singles have a chance to meet with several singles in person, face to face, in a pleasant, nonthreatening, private environment,” is the way Adams put it. “It’s very organized and a great way to meet.”
Adams has been coordinating speed dating, and other singles events on Long Island, for 16 years (“Not much has changed,” she said). People greet, meet, and talk, although venues vary with couches for conversation in Medford and a square room with rows of chairs and tables in Plainview.
A few venues shut down amid the pandemic, although speed dating can bring restaurants not just revenue, but potential future customers.
“It’s harder to attract the older gentlemen to go to speed dating than women,” “Mature women are more apt to try something new.”
Adams added that in the younger age groups, younger men often sign up before women.
She tried speed dating as a customer herself after getting a divorce in 2003, launching her own company in 2008, believing she could do a better job organizing and presenting events.
“I make it more like a party,” she said of speed-dating events that cost $45 including a drink and appetizers. “It’s not so businesslike.”
For the first half hour, attendees talk, drink and eat appetizers. “Some companies say you have to make a minimum purchase,” she said. “There’s no pressure here.”
She started her singles events and dating company after working in human resources, saying there are some similarities: Both involve working with and managing groups of people.
The company name comes from a game. “When we were kids, there was a game called 7 [Minutes] in Heaven. You would spin the bottle. If the bottle turned on you, you would go for seven minutes in a closet,” she said. “I thought it was a nice play on words. We use seven minutes for each date.”
She times the speed-dating encounters by ringing a cowbell to indicate each session’s end. Women stay in one spot, while men rotate between stations.
“Speed dating is a game of musical chairs,” Adams said. “Everybody has to be social with everybody.”
People are given a page with names at events averaging 10 to 12 sessions and are told not to exchange contact information. They instead write “yes” or “no” on a page that they hand in at the end.
Adams sends personal emails letting you know people who picked/want to date you, even if you did not indicate initial interest in them.
She currently does speed dating at locations in Rockville Centre, Plainview, Hicksville, Lindenhurst, Huntington, Medford, Hauppauge, and Bay Shore.
She also does events such as dinner parties (including tropical themes), bowling, archery and axe throwing.
Adams says her events bring in diversity including people from the Middle East, India, Asia, Black, Latinx, and other ethnic groups.
She tried doing events for couples, but believes people went to the places, but not events. “You’re just giving them free ideas of things to do,” Adams said. “They have each other so they’ll take my calendar and go together.”
She has speed-dating tips: Don’t talk about politics, sex, or religion. “Keep that out of the seven minutes. Get to know the person,” she said. “Have a conversation.”
People typically ask if others were ever married, are divorced or widowed, where they live, whether they have children, profession — then simply talk.
Valentine’s Day can be a depressing day for singles seeking to meet a partner.
This year, there are no events planned for that day to remind them of this.
While her website is filled with photos and gratitude for her role as a kind of Cupid to Long Island couples, she is also one of her own happy customers. At a Fire Island Lighthouse singles event she organized, she met the man she would later marry.
“Mike attended that 2015 event,” Adams said. “We had a good time together that day and we started dating soon after. We have been married since 2019.”
