By Zack Tirana
We knew it couldn’t be true.
We knew deep down in our hearts, in our bones, in our very souls, that when those scumbag “brothers” of The Night’s Watch mercilessly knifed him at the end of Season 5 (that first slice from that lil fella; how damn cold), it just couldn’t be.
We knew he’d rise again.
“Jon Snow can’t be dead. He just can’t!” some of you likely yelled [there was a lot of that going on over here in the Press offices, that’s for sure]. “There’s no way!”
“The Red Witch, she’ll bring him back, surely,” others reassured themselves. “She has magical powers. Stanis is nothing!! The true savior of the Seven Realms has got to be Jon fkn Snow!!”
“I’ve been staying up till dawn since the last episode, reading all the books—but only the chapters named after Jon Snow,” said another, who may or not have been me. “He’s a warg in the books! He’s a shape-shifter, too! He enters Ghost as soon as he falls asleep! There’s no way Jon Snow is dead! Noooooooooo!!!”
Such optimism was born of pure desperation, of course. Dread. Devastation, really. For a while there, things got a lil dark, have to admit. So much grief. So many rumors. Kit Harington telling talk show hosts Jon Snow was dead. Arya and the beautiful Dragon Mother doing the same. Oh, Daenerys!! Drogon, wake up! Your queen mother needs you!!
Game of Thrones Director David Nutter squashing President Obama’s hope, proclaiming that The Bastard of Winterfell was dead as a doorknob, too—or more precisely: “Jon Snow is deader than dead.”
That’s not what this new Season 6 poster depicts! Jon Snow is the only one in it! And he has blood splattering his face that wasn’t there in the final scene of Season 5!
Jon Snow cannot be dead! Jon Snow is alive! This poster is proof!!
There is hope. Long live Jon Snow.