1. TIVO THE GLASS HOUSE ON ABC: What is it, you ask? It’s a reality show that puts 14 players under complete surveillance in a home with no access to the outside world. The twist is that viewers control every aspect of the show, including challenges and the players that get eliminated. Think of it as Big Brother meets American Idol. Of course, CBS thought it was a bit too similar to Big Brother and tried to stop it from airing, but the judge in their hearing didn’t agree. So now you, the general public, gets to enjoy manipulating these hapless human beings into doing what you’d like to see, and if you don’t like their attitudes, you can even send them home! You can even head over to abc.com/shows/theglasshouse and, we quote, “Get to know the men and women whose lives will be under your control for the next 10 weeks.” Think of the possibilities! The Glass House airs June 18 at 10 p.m.
2. DOWNLOAD “FLOW” APP: Rainbow dots, flowing water sounds, the tip of your finger—it doesn’t take much to entertain us and we’ve been hopelessly addicted to this game ever since we downloaded it, for free by the way. All you have to do is drag each dot with your finger to extend it as a pipe to reach its matching dot, creating a flow. You’ll play the first level and think your intelligence is being mocked after you solve puzzle number one in about 2.5 seconds. But that’s just how they draw you in. Once you get to the big boy puzzles you’ll find yourself huddled in a bathroom stall at work cursing under your breath at pipes you just can’t seem to connect. Just don’t forget to turn the volume off.
3. GO TO THE CONEY ISLAND MERMAID PARADE: This year’s king, Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling hosts the nation’s largest art parade, paying homage to Coney Island’s forgotten Mardi Gras, the beginning of summer and artistic self-expression. Thousands come dressed as mermaids and sea creatures, while burlesque dancers, marching bands and yachts on flatbeds line the streets on June 23, rain or shine.
4. MEET WEATHERMAN BILL EVANS @ BOOKHAMPTON The Senior Meteorologist for Eyewitness News and weather correspondent for 95.5 WPLJ is not just a weatherman. He’s won the Emmy award for “Outstanding On-Camera Achievement in Weather Broadcasting” 10 times! Yes, it does exist. He’s also given us the weather while multi-tasking—while playing basketball with Patrick Ewing, ice skating with Kristi Yamaguchi, playing golf with Tiger Woods, swimming with sharks, sky diving, race car driving, bungee jumping and water skiing. And now he’s venturing into the literary genre of “eco-thriller.” Yes, that exists, too. Stop by Southampton on June 23 at 4 p.m. and meet LI’s favorite weather guy.
5. GOOGLE “DIRTY CAR ART”: Using dusty car windows as his canvas, artist Scott Wade has taken the “Wash Me” prank to a whole other level. So, next time you put off washing your car, you may be in for a surprise in the morning—Mona Lisa or Albert Einstein might be staring back at you. Check out Wade’s windshield masterpieces at www.dirtycarart.com.
6. WATCH THE 2012 US AIR GUITAR CHAMPIONSHIPS: You may be wondering what exactly the rules are in such a competition. Well, the rules set forth by the Air Guitar World Championships, of course! The instrument must be invisible and be a guitar. Yeah, we know, crazy stuff. Check out New York City’s finest as they take the stage at the Bowery Ballroom on or watch the recaps at www.usairguitar.com
7. Visit DarwinTunes: The British online, worldwide study of the evolution of music continues, offering insight into how pop tunes are engineered and why songs like Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe” go viral, no matter how suicidal they make the rest of us. Keep the study going by registering at www.darwintunes.org and rating noise samples and tracks.
8. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH KOI: Right now, 30 show tanks are being set up at the Freeport Recreation Center for a huge show featuring breeds rarely seen outside of Japan. Stop by between June 22 and 24 and see these gorgeous fish that range in size from six inches to more than three feet as they swim by. In Japanese culture, the Koi fish symbolizes love, perseverance and strength. Who couldn’t use a little bit of that?
9. SUBSCRIBE TO ROB BREZSNY’S HOROSCOPES: For all of you who say horoscopes are a waste of time, you obviously haven’t read Brezsny’s syndicated Free Will Astrology column, chock full of metaphorical wisdom so spot on, it will make you a believer. Subscribe to his free newsletter at www.freewillastrology.com and you’ll have your future delivered straight to your inbox every week.
10. CHECK OUT, BUT DON’T BUY, THE BANANA BUNKER: This ridiculous piece of plastic is actually being sold for $6.99, plus nine-dollar shipping. If you go to bananabunker.com, you can even see a short clip that shows the durability of the product. Durability, as in, “watch this man drop a banana enclosed in plastic off a 30-foot-high fire escape.” You know, you’re standing on the fire escape, about to eat a banana, but then it slips out of your hands and plummets to the cold, unforgiving ground. Now your day is ruined. We can’t tell you how many times this has happened to us.