Pink Slip: Jerk Who Shot Arrow Through Duck’s Neck


39PinkSlip e1350572541951Why a duck?

Why shoot an arrow through the throat of a tame, trusting Pekin—a bird that does not fly and has no reason to fear humans?

But last weekend some sick person did the indefensible and wounded a hapless Long Island duck in North Patchogue. And now the Suffolk County Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals is offering a $1,000 reward for information that will lead to the arrest and conviction of this asshole archer.

This was no wild mallard. It was somebody’s poor pet that became somebody else’s evil target practice.

Fortunately, this duck’s luck did not run out; It was saved by a resident on Poe Place who often feeds the ducks in that part of town, and it was taken to the Save the Animals Rescue Foundation in the nick of time, where it is presumably quacking comfortably at the Middle Island wildlife rehab—although with a pierced esophagus, it will never sound the same.

Perhaps when the perpetrator of this dastardly act is finally facing a judge’s grilling, this shooter will bow to justice and get jabbed in the neck with the wrong end of a gavel. Or be figuratively defeathered.

Duck shooter… You’re fired!