You don’t get a second chance to make a first impression and that rule extends to the people that stand at the doors of sanctuaries. Doorkeepers, also known as greeters or ushers, are often the first people that members or visitors see when entering a church, and while the job may sound easy; it comes with a lot of responsibility.
For almost 15 years, certified etiquette trainer and Westbury resident Linda Williams has been teaching people to act with civility and good manners, behaviors she said are are especially important in the church. One day Williams was talking to her pastor at Friendship Baptist Church in Roslyn about problems with ushers and doorkeepers in the church in general. The pastor suggested Williams, who is the congregation’s etiquette officer, write a book on church etiquette for the people who stand at the door and are tasked with greeting people, as well as enforcing order in the sanctuary.
“Because of their responsibilities and where they are placed in the church, doorkeepers have one of the most important jobs in the church,” Williams said. “They must be welcoming, kind and courteous, but at the same time authoritative to make sure the rules of the church are followed and that people feel welcome.”
Williams agreed and began a year and a half long project that has culminated in the publication of her latest handbook, Church Etiquette: A Handbook for Doorkeepers. The book, which originally started as a manual but was published at her pastor’s encouraging, provides a guide to the physical behaviors and spiritual attitude a doorkeeper should assert.
“I realized one of the biggest issues is we don’t realize the impact we have as ushers and doorkeepers on the people who come into the church. Not everyone who walks into church is a member, some people are really hurting and are seeking a friendly face,” Williams said. “Ushers should understand the importance of having an attitude of friendliness and kindness.”
But, as Williams noticed, this isn’t an easy job. Ushers and doorkeepers must keep any negative emotions aside, and put the needs of others first.
“It’s not about how you feel, it’s about being available to people who come into church. You have to put your own feelings and issues aside to help someone else,” Williams said. “It’s difficult. You have to be attentive to what’s going on and see what might be needed.”
This isn’t Williams’ first foray into the literary world. In 2009, she wrote a handbook on church etiquette and appropriate behavior in the church.
“Church has become very relaxed in what we allow. I think sometimes we forget church is a spiritual place, and because of that there has to be a rules like there is in any other place,” Williams said, noting specifically rules about cell phones being turned off and modest apparel. “People have lost the decency, order and courtesy that’s expected when you’re in church. And sometimes people can be rude. And of all places, church is the least places you should be rude. Everyone has off days but people come to church because they’re looking for something and if we who are in church don’t have a kind and courteous spirit, we’re missing the focus of what church is all about.”
So far, A Handbook for Doorkeepers has received a positive response. Williams’ hope is that it will not only be used by those serving in an usher or doorkeeper position, but for regular church attenders as well.
“I’m promoting it as a book for anyone,” she said. “It’s for anyone who wants to better understand the doorkeeper’s job. And if a doorkeeper or usher says something to you, you need to understand they’re not doing it to be mean or push their weight around. They’re trying to make sure the sanctuary is a place where people are comfortable and there are not a lot of disruptions and you can focus on the service.”
Williams will be doing a book signing at the Olive Branch bookstore in New Hyde Park on June 13. Church Etiquette: A Handbook for Doorkeepers is also available on Amazon and on her website, www.lifeskills.com.
