the-target

ALLIGATOR
PARTIAL SCORE

Suffolk County SPCA officers responded to the home of a Miller Place resident who surrendered a 2-foot long alligator after missing a prior “reptile amnesty day” to gather any scaly critters kept as pets. Points lost for harboring the monster in the first place, but kudos for coming clean—unlike those who’ve let loose the 18 other gators in parking lots, streams and backyards across the Island since September 2012.

BOARDWALK
BULL’S EYE

The Long Beach Boardwalk, after being smashed to smithereens by Hurricane Sandy, re-opened again to the public Oct. 25 following a complete cleanup and reconstruction ongoing since the storm’s wrath. Dozens turned out for the jubilant event, a feat representative of the challenges and rebirth still unfolding across the Island—and highlighting the work that still has yet to be done.

CRACK QUACKS
OFF TARGET

A 57-year-old man and 48-year-old woman from Riverhead have been charged with drug felonies after New York State Police, who had observed the couple acting suspiciously at the iconic Big Duck in Flanders, discovered they were carrying crack cocaine. Really? The Big Duck isn’t weird enough without the hard-core stuff? Should’ve opted for a stroll along the new LBC Boardwalk instead!

LOU REED
BULL’S EYE

The legendary singer/songwriter/guitarist and Velvet Underground founder lost his battle with liver disease, passing away in his Hamptons home Oct. 27 and unleashing a torrent of tributes across the arts and entertainment world. Born in Brooklyn and raised in Freeport, the art-punk poet will forever be remembered for his innovation, attitude, style and raw power—a true pioneer, wordsmith, rebel, outlaw, and a Long Islander who influenced generations of artists and musicians to come. Linger on, Lou. Linger on.

STEPHEN BALDWIN
PARTIAL SCORE

The born-again Christian and youngest B-brother paid another $100,000 in Rockland County Court toward the $400,000 he owes as part of a plea deal for felony tax-delinquincy charges. The former Bio-Dome star, like the Miller Place alligator keeper, did wrong and is repenting. Kudos, we say. Now can you please get your brother to keep his hands off photographers!? Oye!

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