The barbecue grills will be working overtime in Levittown in the coming days as families celebrate Father’s Day and graduations. The two sentiments that often surround these gatherings are gratitude and wonder.
When our fathers are young, we express our gratitude to them for all they do for us. When they are old, we express our gratitude to God that they are still with us. If any of the grown children haven’t seen their dad in a while, they huddle off to the side to talk about “how dad looks” or whether they need to do more to help him out. In some cases there is an unspoken worry that this might be the last Father’s Day with their dad.
Whether this Father’s Day seems that dire or not, it is a good occasion to share the aspects of our dads that we have come to value. In my line of work, I sometimes hear regrets that the affirmations of a father’s life were only spoken at his wake. So you might want to try out the eulogy now, while he can still hear and appreciate it.
This might be even more important to do for a dad who is middle-aged, than for the elderly father. In middle age, men and women sometimes face a nagging inner question: “Is my life in any way meaningful?” In the mid-life years, the routines of our lives and some regrets for things of the past can chip away at self confidence and significance. “Do I matter?” “Is this all there is to my life?” Mid-life dads often live with mid-teen children who sometimes don’t want to be seen with their fathers for fear of embarrassment. It isn’t easy, especially if fathers see some worrisome behaviors in their children. Thus affirming the mid-life dad is a really loving thing to do—the gift of a tie won’t do it.
If Father’s Day is about gratitude, graduation day is about wonder. We wonder how the little baby born into the world just yesterday has suddenly turned into a young woman or man. The graduates may tower over grandma (how did they get so tall so fast?), and they can carry themselves in almost adult-like conversations. The graduates, too, are filled with wonder, not about their meteoric growth, but about what the next chapter of their lives will bring. Perhaps they’re off to high school or college or to graduate school or to the military or to the working world. They wonder what the next months will bring, and their parents and grandparents share the anxiety and wonder as they stand before the future. There are lots of quiet prayers going on.
We have a tradition in our parish that honors both dads and grads. On Father’s Day, we call all the fathers forth to the front of the church and ask a blessing upon them. Any father in our community is welcomed to join us with their family on Father’s Day for this special blessing. And on the weekend of June 25-26, we’ll be doing the same for graduates, no matter what level of school their are graduating from. Come to any Mass those weekends (Saturday 5 p.m.; Sunday 7:30 a.m., 9 a.m.,10:30 a.m.,12 noon and 5:30 p.m.) and join in the celebrations of gratitude and wonder.
