Trust is a critical component of a healthy relationship. Experts say that trust is built and protected when partners support their words with consistent, genuine and heartfelt actions.
Words can be easy to offer, but actions show whether someone truly means what they say, says Bobby Vincench, founder, life coach and educator at Long Island-based Free Minds Thrive. Action “takes real investment to enact,” and that effort is what builds trust, he says.
When couples rely on verbal reassurance without compatible behavior, the message can start to feel empty, Vincench warns. Even saying “I love you!” can lose meaning if it is “followed by actions that are not loving, or by nothing at all,” he says. But those same words carry weight when they are paired with daily evidence of care — thoughtful gestures, not constant purchases — such as doing what your partner has asked you to do more of, or “listening to them intently while they speak and keeping your phone far away as you do so.”
Simple surprises can also help reignite the relationship’s spark, especially when routines have started to take over, Vincench adds.
“Small moments often turn into meaningful memories” and help foster a positive relationship, says Dr. Jaclyn Rodriguez, a licensed psychologist and founder of Long Island-based Positive Progress Psychology. A kiss before leaving and when returning home, a sincere compliment or expressing a specific reason you love your partner, and genuine appreciation for everyday efforts — like cooking dinner or taking out the trash — show care in a way that feels tangible. Making a partner’s morning coffee, or handling a task they usually do, can quietly make their day feel lighter, she adds.
During challenging times, Rodriguez encourages couples to “check in” rather than assume what a loved one needs. Support might mean helping with a practical task, listening while your partner vents or working through a problem together. She also urges couples to stay present and enjoy quality time, even if it is simple and low-cost, such as a conversation at home, a game night, or a movie.
Supportive actions are often what make love feel steady and real, says Jordanna Garren, licensed clinical social worker at Long Island-based Jordanna Blake Therapy & Wellness. Consistency helps partners feel secure, while a calm presence during conflict helps prevent issues from escalating, she says.
Consistent and predictable actions can also be especially regulating — calm check-ins, active listening without trying to fix the problem, physical affection and following through on commitments, Garren says. Slowing down and staying present communicates, “I’m here with you.”
Presence signals safety and stability and helps a loved one feel less alone. “People may intellectually know they are loved, but emotional connection is built through behavior,” says Garren.
