Do you love Larry David but loathe Snooki? Feel that Laverne & Shirley should be brought back to primetime? Wish Raymond “Red” Reddington was your godfather? That Dee Dee Ramone had been elected president? Do you obsessively contemplate previous episodes of The Following? Fantasize about what it’d actually be like to live within Game of Thrones? Drool about the prospects of another season of 24? Do you still fume over that shitty finale to The Sopranos?
So do we. And that’s why we founded this blog, to share exactly how we feel about the one true love of our lives, TV. After all, it is really she who has raised us, she who has comforted us, she who has brought us to tears, consoled us, laughed with us, lulled us to sleep and joined us in our dreams. Hers is the first voice we hear in the morning and the last one before bed. She is always there for us, in good times and in bad. She doesn’t judge, can be turned down (or off) at will, and only costs so much as the monthly bill from the provider. Oh sweet Television, you are our lover, our mistress and our savior. You have helped us formulate our collective perception of the outside world and have molded our thoughts for as long as we can remember. You have informed us, entertained us, kept us company and taught us oh so many things. Oh Television, consider this blog a love letter and extra-special “Thank You” to you. Oh Television, you consume our hearts and minds and souls, and it is you who we spend the most time with. Sweet Telly, we can never fully repay you, or express exactly how much you mean to us, but love, the least we can do as a mere reflection of our affection, is to voice our thoughts and feelings, hopes and desires here.
You may not agree with this, but it does not matter. You may not understand this, but it does not matter. You may not even watch TV, but again, it does not matter.
For we do, dear readers, and it is All That Matters.
American Idol, The Voice, House of Cards, Sleepy Hollow, Big Brother, The Blacklist, Game of Thrones, The Following, The View, Bill O’Reilly, The Crazy Ones, Hostages, Marvel’s Agents of Shield, Seinfeld, I Love Lucy, Judge Judy, Pawn Stars, American Pickers or Days of Our Lives—ours is a love eternal which does not fade but yet changes with the many seasons.
This is The Squawk Box, and Television is who—and what—we are.
Expect weekly, if not daily reviews, previews, picks, recaps, gossip, rants, raves, trashings, character assassinations, shameless, sophomoric and unabashedly un-funny jokes, redundant run-on sentences (like this one), uncomprehensive and obtuse nonsensical caffeine-fueled diatribes, midnight muses, daytime hallucinations, metaphysical yearnings, cathode-ray catharsis and irrational, emotional, oft-times spiritually transcendental epiphanies. (Oh, and we also watch a lot of movies, we’ll be weighing in on those, too.)
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Laugh. Cry. Curse. Agree. Detest, vehemently. We want to hear it. Enjoy.