How to become “victimproof” from bullying was the lesson shared by renowned anti-bullying speaker Tom Thelen during a recent assembly for freshmen at Massapequa High School-Ames Campus.
“Victimproof,” which is also the name of Thelen’s book, is a phrase he developed to show students how to release the resentment and pain inflicted by bullying so they can move forward with a new outlook, confidence and promise for success.
Thelen speaks from his own personal experiences. He was the awkward, geeky nerd with allergy and asthma problems who felt powerless among the powerful. What he realized is that you cannot control how people treat you, but you can control how you respond to them.
“Bullies are about power, but you don’t have to give it to them,” said Thelen, encouraging students to seek help by confiding in a trusted adult. He spoke of his father, his biggest bully who abused him verbally, emotionally and sometimes physically. “By high school, the pain was leaking out of me. I became a class clown. By tenth grade, my life was falling apart and I was put on academic probation.”
A pivotal moment came at age 15 when Thelen went into a counseling program that changed his life. Here he learned something that would overpower his bullies; he learned to forgive.
“It’s like a gift to yourself because you deserve to live a life free from that pain,” he said. “You can’t let it own you. Once you release it you become ‘victimproof’.”
Thelen spoke about how he turned his pain into a successful career as an anti-bullying speaker and author, appearing at more than 500 schools around the nation. He also spoke of his wife’s success as a business owner after overcoming years of ridicule by classmates for being held back a grade.
“You can be the change,” Thelen said, as he pointed out to the crowd and asked students to commit to that mantra made famous by Indian leader Mahatma Gandhi. He also offered students access to his book online for free. The book is also available to purchase for $20 on www.amazon.com.
