Michael Conforti

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Michael Conforti is the Director of New Media for the Long Island Press and many of its associated properties. He occasionally writes things. Things like his biographical information for the author excerpt thingy you are reading here. He writes in third person. Mike is awesome.

The Mother of All Wedding Invites a.k.a. Damn Right I’m Gonna Save The Date!

Every other bride and groom: Awww, our Save The Dates are so cute! It’s a refrigerator magnet. And it has cute little puppies! They’re in love! See, they’re sharing a dog biscuit! It’s a metaphor for how we’re going to share our lives together! I know it will make people want to come to our wedding. It’s the cutest invite ever!

Bambo & Janice: SAVE THE DATE BITCHES!! [drops mic]

ASPCA Declares April 8 National Dog Fighting Awareness Day

ASPCA - National Dog Fighting Awareness Day

The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) has declared April 8, 2014 to be their National Dog Fighting Awareness Day.

In a message on their website, the organization states:

[blockquote]The ASPCA designated April 8 as National Dog Fighting Awareness Day (NDFAD) to increase understanding and awareness about dog fighting and to encourage animal lovers across the country to take action against this brutal form of animal cruelty.[/blockquote]

A video on their site demonstrates the efforts being made to end the practice.

To find out more about how you can get involved in the fight against dog fighting, or to learn more about the ASPCA in general, visit their webiste at www.aspca.org/dogfighting.

[youtube url=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1T_B_Ba6MV4″ hd=”1″ rel=”0″]

Hey Long Island! Know Anything About This LIRR Proposal? #HaveYouSeenThisCouple

LIRR Proposal

lirr-top

Ok, so it’s time to use the powers of The Buzz for good, instead of evil. Not that I typically use the power of The Buzz for evil, but never much for good. Unless you count making people laugh or learn something as “good.” Ok, so maybe I do use the powers of The Buzz for good. But now, I am trying to use the power of The Buzz for even GOODER!

Have you seen this couple?

Someone did, witnessing a Long Island Rail Road, Say Anything-inspired act of love, on a Babylon line train headed for the Big Apple. He held a portable music player up, the smooth sounds of blue-eyed soulster Justin Timberlake wafting through the cabin, as he dropped to one knee, displaying a ring to his soon-to-be betrothed. She said yes, and the train sped on to Penn Station, temporarily turning that short, dark approach into a true tunnel of love.

Ok, maybe I should keep my day job and not try and write for Hallmark. The point is, if you know who the couple from the January 12, 2014 Manhattan bound Matrimonial Express, these self-described documentary film producers want to know too.

Check their video re-enactment below and if it jogs your memory or you actually know who the real happy couple is, hook it up and contact the filmmakers at (646) 770-4707 or haveyouseenthiscouple@gmail.com.

Disclaimer: I don’t know any of these people. The Long Island Press takes no responsibility for any of this. Unless it helps and there is a connection and it’s awesome. Then, it’s all thanks to me.

What’s Old is Old Again. But Still Very Much Worth Seeing. (Video)

What’s Old is Old

“The Winter Olympics are over you know.”

His not-so-subtle way of telling me that my last Buzz article was old.

He’s right of course (he’s the boss, which makes him always right, but even if he wasn’t, he’d still be right, just not always). 

“Shutup,” I said.

In my head. Cuz he’s the boss.

“You’re right,” I said. “I have failed living up to the standards set by this fine organization. I will immediately rectify the situation, and I assure you that this complete collapse of journalistic responsibility required of even the most junior members of our esteemed establishment will never, ever happen again. I wish for you to significantly decrease my remuneration until I have adequately proven my diligence in not putting up old sh*t.”

Also in my head. Cuz yeah right.

What I actually did say was “Yeah. I know, sorry. It’s old. I’ll fix it.”

After all, the Buzz should be buzzing! New, fresh, now, next, tomorrow, FUTURE! (FUTURE!, future! future..) 

That was an echo.

So, in the spirit of NEW, FRESH and FUTURE, and because I’m a smart ass, I filled this Buzz with nothing but old sh*t.

(Don’t worry. It’s all cool old stuff.)

Enjoy this trip down memory lane.

INSANE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING ACROBATS (1930s?)

FIVE INSANE MEN STANDING UNDER A NUCLEAR EXPLOSION (1957)

ONLY EXISTING FOOTAGE OF THE TITANIC (at least according to the title)

THE ONLY KNOWN VIDEO OF MARK TWAIN – SHOT BY THOMAS EDISON!

CONEY ISLAND c. 1940

and NEW YORK CITY in COLOR (1939)

1939, New York en couleur from Melimelo News on Vimeo.

Mo’ Sochi, Mo’ Problems: Twitter’s @SochiProblems Relays Olympic-Sized Fail Tweets

Mo’ Sochi,

Sochi toilets - OlympicsWhile we prepare for a production of pageantry and perfectly proportioned people presenting powerful and precise performances, some people are having #SochiProblems.

While the world awaits the Sochi Winter Games, the Olympic event is receiving a bit of a bad reputation, even before it has officially begun, as those visiting, journalists in particular, are reporting from behind the scenes of the worldwide extravaganza.

Much of what they report, or at least much of what it catching people’s attention, isn’t great.

From plumbing problems to unfinished hotels to double-toilets (!), the stream of folks putting a comedic spin on the accommodations, or lack thereof, is quite steady.

One place, a Twitter account created especially for the occasion, helps keep track of others who are commenting, in one tidy, giggle-inducing place.

Welcome to @SochiProblems!

For the uninitiated, Twitter parody accounts are created to poke fun at certain figures or instances that capture the attention of others.

For instance, a Twitter account was “created by” the escaped Bronx Zoo snake, documenting its adventure in the urban wild:

 

And one of my favorites, that unfortunately has seen it’s endo, Mayor Bloomberg… en Espanol:

 

Now, we have @SochiProblems!! … Happily retweeting the tweets of troubled travelers. Tweets like these:

 

 

 

 

 

For more, fire up your favorite Twitter client and follow @SochiProblems

This Guy: 1 – Most Other Boyfriends: 0

ThisGuy1

Sorry dudes. I know you feel like I’m setting us up for failure here, but I’m actually doing us a favor.

On the surface, this video may embarrass us and our piddling gift-giving abilities. It may make our ladies look at us with disdain and say, “Hmph. Now THAT’S how you give a gift, moron!” It may remind us that we still haven’t gotten a gift for our wife whose birthday is THIS FRIDAY OMG DAMMIT….

But don’t look at it like any of that. Look at it as motivation. Inspiration!! An example of the type of creativity that you can apply to your relationship, that your significant other will treasure immensely and for eternity.

Unless she’s like, a golddigger, then this won’t really help you much…

Anyway, internet legend has it that this guy, in an attempt to one-up his own prior year’s gift (“Will you marry me?”) found an old relic from his Fiancee’s childhood, and embarked on a monstrously time-consuming search for an exact replica, to replace the parts of the original that had been lost through the years.

The result was incredibly touching as you will see and HEY, WHO THE HELL IS PEELING ONIONS IN HERE?!?!?

What If Kids Made Movies?

Kids Made Movies

What would happen if you took two little kids, and had them improvise the script to a movie, then somehow brought it to life?

You’d never know, if it weren’t for the clever work of these people. But now, you CAN know. And knowing is half the battle! GI JOOOOOOEEEE!

Anyway, these guys put together a ton of these scenarios-thought-up-by-kids-but-acted-out-by-not-kids. They’re cool and fun to watch. Check out a couple, and if you like them, go visit Bored Shorts TV on YouTube and spend hours there neglecting your infant and/or not doing any work at your job.

“We asked a girl to teach her sister how to do math.”

Josh Groban!

And their newest one, posted today…

Devil Baby Attacks New York City

Devil Baby

The last time we saw this kind of wonderfully evil trickery played out on unsuspecting citizens, it was a clever advertisement for a movie. But we didn’t care. It was deliciously wrong, and we loved it.

Enter devil baby. Same thing.

Enjoy. We did.